June 4, 2016
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In today’s world we are constantly overwhelmed with information and stimulation. From all directions we are told how to think and what to do. Somewhere out there somebody has a plan or a strategy for every possible problem you could ever imagine. There are people telling you how and what you should eat, how you should work, how you should relax and how you should communicate with the people close to you. Even how you should have sex. Especially concerning relationships there is a myriad of suggestions out there: Ask the right questions. Try this way of communicating – or the other. Don’t do this. Try doing that… Most of which is ignoring and even contributing to one basic problem which is rooted in the very paradigm of how we see the world and approach life:
We are conditioned to crave a result in everything we do. We don’t value the act itself (no pun intended). Thus we don’t value communication itself – instead we are yearning for its result, with our mind already far ahead in the future. An improvement in our relationship, more trust, more love. More of something at the very least. We forget that taking action can be a means in and of itself. We forget that communication itself is the purpose. It is to be savoured and enjoyed. Every moment of it. Such precious moments – if we manage to become present.
My invitation is to find out what happens if we stop pursuing. If we start listening. If we accpet what is. If we stop running and look around, take it in:
- What would happen to the quality of our communication if we would create that sacred space of non-expectation, of non-action, of non-judgement. Wouldn’t it be exciting to find out?
- What would happen if we’d forget about achieving a certain result – just for a moment? Or for a few moments. Or for many moments?
- What would it take for you to explore this space in your own life? What would change if you did? How would it feel?
- How would you feel?
Have an amazing day.
April 22, 2016
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It makes me angry about the world that so many people do jobs they hate and are not happy while spitting lies about how this is the way the world works in all directions, like venom. Not realizing that their life sucks because they are stuck in a victim mentality, failing to take full responsibility for the quality of their life and for the results they produce (yes produce! not the results happening to them). Many people rather regurgitate some lame story about why they are not to blame for their undesirable life situation plus a shitload of reasons why they must remain stuck and it is not in their power to change anything. Then they very effectively talk themselves into believing their limiting story of failure and doom and limitation and.. aah…feel a sense of relief. Because it’s not their fault after all!
But as they are still unhappy with their situation – anger and discontent arises. Yet they cannot use this as leverage to change because it is not in their power to change anything (so they say) – they are not responsible after all. It’s the world around them and their circumstances, their past, that are to blame for all the things that are not going in a desirable way for them. So they unload their anger on the world and moan and complain and play the game of victimhood. Then they try to convince other people of the same things – so they can feel more secure and certain believing their crippling and disempowering story of lies and bullshit.
Notice that there’s a lot of „they“ – this can readily be substituted with „I“ for maximum self-awareness.
My own advice to myself: don’t even listen to this for another second (no matter if it’s someone else’s negative story of limitation or my own old boring tape). Offer a constructive perspective, show compassion and empathy and then: Move On. Sounds harsh? It’s the most loving thing to do.
Enjoy telling yourself a story of confidence and empowerment, of possibilities and of taking charge and taking responsibility. Because who else is going to move things along for you – someone of those people living in their nightmare-fantasy-land of victimhood? Too busy feeling like a victim. One of those people living a self-determined life of taking charge and winning? Too busy enjoying life and changing things up, making stuff happen.
So put the lens on your own story, get a hold of your current perspective, get a grip on the landscape of your internal world. Tell yourself something empowering right now, then again later, and when the sun has set gently whisper it to yourself before you close your eyes to go to sleep and watch this empowering new story you tell yourself change your life from the inside out. It’s really simple. Change your story, change your perspective, change your results. But someone has to do it. Again and again. Guess who that someone is. Guess when the best time to start is.
Yes I’m listening. I really needed to hear this. Thank you Mr. Myself.
Good job 😉