Women indeed are amazing. I can not imagine my life without women. For this article I want to focus on those women in our life that we love in a very special way – as our romantic partners. Those women that we have expressed our interest in, shown our affection to, that we have touched and that have touched us. Intellectually, emotionally, sexually and if both of us are lucky – all of those combined.
Why are women amazing? There are so many reasons. Let me talk about one. There is a saying: „Don’t listen to what a woman is saying, listen to what she is doing.“ At first glance this might sound belittling. In my opinion though it is an invitation to look deeper. To look at what our (sexual) opposite really needs and wants from us. To the wisdom they are sharing with us. To look at how our actions REALLY impact them. Actions run deeper than words.
I am convinced that what women really need from us as men is exactly that which is best for us to give. If a woman needs you to be free from attachment, to be loving yet not overbearing or oppressive with your love, to be giving and not taking, to be strong and firm in your direction, to stay true to your word – this is in your best interest. It might not be easy. It might actually be insanely challenging and demanding. It might be the most difficult thing for you to do in that moment. Yet also the right thing, the best thing, the choice most full of self-love. This feedback is an extremely valuable service women offer to us men, if we are wise and humble enough to listen. The most insane thing is that they are doing this for free! Being an honest mirror of the reality inside of us at each moment of contact with them. Every second anew.
That’s also why in my opinion you don’t „just have“ a relationship. A relationship is attraction and connection happening in an instant. Then again, and again. A fulfilling relationship then is a stringing together of moments of attraction, trust, love and connection. This can only happen if both partners are dynamic and open to what each moment brings. A special moment is – as the name suggests „special“. It happnens for a very specific reason – out of the moment. It cannot be routine or scripted. It cannot be created or manufactured. It is an honest expression of what is and thus “it happens”. Like when you see a beautiful rainbow in the sky.
In my life I was very fortunate for having met women who knew what they wanted. Even the rare woman who could not only feel what she wants deep inside but who could also communicate it lucidly, in a way that I was able to make sense of as a man. Yet I was also fortunate for having met women who didn not know what they wanted. Who were lost and who looked to me to tell them what they needed or deserved. I was fortunate for realizing that I could not tell them, that I can never do that. Not for anyone other than myself. Learning that everyone has to find out for him or herself what it is they need to feel and experience – every moment anew.
I’m talking about what women need from us at a deeper level. About what we have to give that also comes from a deeper level within us. Something that is alive inside of us no matter who we think we are or how we are feeling about ourselves at the present. A quality that we just have to awaken and bring to light. Women can help us do this – if we listen with an open heart and allow them to guide us. If we listen with that deeper part of ourselves to that deeper part within them. If we, instead of judging their reactions to us, learn to love their expression and movement. If we really listen to what they are telling us with a warm heart and a calm mind. Listen to their actions and emotions.
If you are a man I invite you to reflect on about what you think women really need from you. Which is basically the same you need from yourself as a man. If you are a woman I invite you to think about what you really need from a man. From a man who deserves that you open up to him. I invite you to be honest and gentle with yourself. Many beautiful things can show up if we are kind to ourselves and others. If we listen with love and acceptance. Have an amazing day.
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